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Lisa's Story
What a handsome guy! From the outside looking in, it seemed he had it all going for him. Good looks, close family, lots of friends, girl friends, football player, rugby player, great sense of humor, just finished high school and headed for college, very smart, talented artist, actively participated in youth activities and mission trips at church. Kurt had a strong character, and oh what a character he was! He had the gift to make people laugh, cry and love…. What more could a guy ask for?
Maybe to be free of an illness that made it impossible for him to feel comfortable in his own skin, maybe to feel genuinely happy, maybe to be able to ask for help without the fear of being judged, maybe to be free of a stigma that makes many suffer in silence…
We will never have the opportunity to know what was truly Kurt’s hearts-desire. After several years of battling depression, he lost his fight on Monday, December 4, 2006. We will be re-defining our “normal” for many years to come. Collectively, (my husband, our 4 daughters and I) we often struggle to picture our futures with the absence of Kurt, which leads to many heartbreaking moments. A wedding for one of our daughters, where Kurt was once part of the picture, now includes a picture of Kurt. As our daughters enter their adult lives, they will one day get to tell their children stories of their hilarious uncle, but their children will never experience the laughter that filled a room when Kurt was present. My husband and I get the pleasure of watching many of Kurt’s friends get married and become Fathers, but we will never see Kurt find the love of his life, and the joy in his heart when he would become a Father.
Nor do we ever get to see him live free from the bondage of depression….
In the search to make sense of this tragic unnecessary loss, we found the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. With the support of my family, and Kurt’s memory in my heart, I started the Central Indiana Chapter of AFSP. Something positive had to be born of something so tragic. I will be forever grateful for every minute that I was blessed to be Kurt’s mother, and the chapter of AFSP is one way that I can celebrate his life. I would never want his life to be defined by the way he left this world or the illness that caused his departure. There are two dates that are relevant to Kurt’s life, but it is all the GOOD stuff in between those two dates that is most important.
Kurt- You blessed our lives by sharing yours with us. We love and miss you more than you could ever know.
Mom