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Connie's Story
I am Connie Scott, from Owatonna, Minnesota, proud mother of Pfc. Brian Matthew Williams. When your child joins the military, you feel pride and fear. You know that they have made a choice that could put them in harm’s way. You know that the enemy may take your precious child away from you. But when the enemy that takes your child’s life is PTSD and depression, your life turns into a horror that is difficult to put into words.
Brian was stationed at a combat outpost at Ramadi, Iraq. He had been there just a very short time when he was sent home on leave. In the few weeks that he was in Iraq, life as he knew it changed forever. Brian was known as a fun-loving practical joker. Never a fighter, he used words to smooth things over, and to entertain family and friends. He wanted someday, to become a politician. It must have been quite a shock for him to see how useless words are in war.
When he arrived home for leave, I saw in his eyes the pain and suffering he was going through. Suicide is rarely about just one issue, and Brian was dealing with several difficult situations in addition to combat. His eyes were glassy, his completion was gray, and he was restless and unable to eat or sleep. But on the last day of his leave things seemed to change. He talked with all of his friends and family, shared his plans for the future, and he seemed ok, in fact better than ever. We didn’t know then what that meant.
Every aspect of my life died when Brian died. Slowly life is returning, but not the way I ever envisioned it would be. I know that the pain I carry in my heart will be with me for the rest of my life. But never before has my purpose been more clear– suicide prevention is possible through public awareness, early diagnosis and medical breakthroughs, and by removing the stigma that depression is a weakness. As Brian’s mother, I would be very proud to be a part of these changes.